Parenting is so damn weird. It’s awesome and messy. It’s eye-opening and complicated. And holy shit, it shakes us at our core. So, what else can we do but celebrate that!
Think of this new series as a cyber high five. Think of it as a way for us to come together and say to each other: Yo. I SEE you.
First, let me throw out a massive shout out to the parents who were willing to share their best and worst moments of the week. You’re all heroes in my book.
Let’s start with our best.
“I played hide-and-seek with my kids. It was actually pretty fun. But it was also a bonus when they couldn’t find me. Mini vacay for me!”
“I called a therapist this week. I see that as a parenting win because Mama needs some therapy! Pretty sure my kids would agree.”
“I convinced my daughter to sleep in the clothes she was going to wear to school the next day. Now, we all have one less thing to do in the morning, and our mornings have been going swimmingly.”
“I took all three kids to the grocery store for the first time in months. No one cried, I didn’t have to use threats, and they only asked for candy 19 times.”
“I finally threw away the bag of sliced oranges that had been sitting in the car for two weeks. I also brought in 7 water bottles, 3 sweatshirts, and 4 coffee cups. It was a good day.”
“The baby fell asleep in my arms with his little head on my shoulders, which never happens. Then he had this contagious belly laugh while I was feeling him in the high chair.”
“I changed batteries in a toy the very moment it stopped working. It’s even one of the loud ones that plays terrible songs over and over. Sis was so happy.”
“At lunch time, I didn’t hide vodka in my La Croix.”
“I read to both of my kids every night but one, and I didn’t skip any pages or leave out any lines. I even changed up the voices!”
“I cooked three healthy meals for dinner this week. When my daughter refused to try any of it I didn’t say, “Are you afraid of food or something,” like I did last week. Instead, I said, “Okay. You don’t have to eat it.” And then just stopped talking.
“I didn’t tell my son his pants were on backwards because I enjoyed laughing to myself every time he walked away.”
“I brushed my teeth in the car then spit it out the window at a red light (I know, I know! This is weird and maybe gross to some, but I’ve always done it). My kids were fighting in the back so I also started yelling right as I opened the door. The car next to me thought I was crazy.”
“I put my son’s long hair in a sprout on top of his head so that I could see what he looked like if he was a girl.”
“I spent all day Sunday making this awesome chore chart. By Tuesday it had already fallen between the fridge and stove. I just said ‘fuck it’ and haven’t said the words ‘chore chart’ for three days.”
We let our daughter watch the iPad before bed. She typically falls asleep or my husband turns it off before he goes to bed. But this time, he was out of town and I fell asleep and forgot to check if she was asleep. Around 6:15am, I hear these voices talking through the monitor and I panicked, thinking someone had broken into the house and was in her room. I go in my daughter’s room, and there she is watching her iPad. I asked how long she had been been up, and she said, “A while! I’ve watched a few shows!” I asked if she slept at all, and she told me, “Maybe just a little bit.” Needless to say she looked strung out, and I’m pretty sure she was up the majority of the night binge watching Netflix.
“Knock, knock. Who’s There? Smell Mop. Smell Mop Who?” This was the joke my 3 year old kept telling at school.”
“Mommy, will you stop drinking that (‘that’ being my 3rd glass of wine) and take me to bed, please?”
“I was trying to make dinner and my kids were running all over the place, knocking things over and just driving me crazy. I kinda lost it. Before bed one of them wrote me a note that said, “Hi Mommy. I’m sorry that I bother you sometimes. I love you.” I cried.
“Our kids were fighting over the iPad while I was trying to talk to my attorney on the phone. I kept snapping my fingers at them, trying to tell them to knock it off. They wouldn’t stop so I grabbed the damn thing and chucked it outside. Now it doesn’t work. No one is being punished for that more than me.”
“My son has been lying to me about brushing his teeth. He will say that he did it even when I know he didn’t. I told him if he didn’t brush his teeth they would rot and fall out. He didn’t seem to care about that so I asked him to let me check them. I may have taken it one step too far when I started pretending that one of his teeth was already starting to rot. He immediately freaked out and said, “Call the doctor! Please just call the doctor! I’ll do anything!”
Note: Do you have a best or worst parenting moment you want to share? Of course you do! Send me a message through the Contacts page. And don’t worry! It’s all anonymous 🙂
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