I raise my glass to you, Warrior Parents. Here’s to you making it through another week.
I overheard our 7 year old telling our 3 year old, “You have to clean up your toys. We all play a part here.”
My work is done. The 7 year old can take it from here.
I didn’t turn the TV on until 3:00 pm. I basically forced my kids to play with the thousands of dollars worth of toys they have in their playroom. The first 15 minutes without the TV on was pretty torturous because they were whining and hanging all over me. But then they figured it out and started entertaining themselves. I threw my hands up in the air and pretended an entire arena was cheering for me.
My daughter told me she liked me. I said, “Aww, I love you too honey.” Then she grabbed my face and said, “No, Mommy. I LIKE you, as a person.” It’s literally the best compliment I’ve received. Ever.
We had a rare moment when our 2 year old willingly walked up the stairs to go to bed and said, “Gotta go to bed, everybody! See you next time!”
Daughter (6 years old): I know what I want to be for Halloween next year.
Me: Oh yeah, what’s that?
Daughter: Queen of the entire Solar System.
Me: Ok then.
My 3 year old may be strong-willed (aka: entitled little a-hole), but currently he’s obsessed with vacuuming my floors so the universe is keeping things balanced.
I had to take my daughter to work with me the other day when school was cancelled. When I asked her what she wanted for lunch she said, “You know what I’m craving? A spicy tuna roll and ginger tea.” Ahh, the corners we’ve turned to becoming friends.
“My kids made a pretend restaurant, and asked me to order food. So I did. Then I took one bite of it and said I wasn’t hungry. Just to show them what it feels like.”
I realized the state of my life when I caught myself yelling over and over, “We don’t drink out of the toilet!”
Right now my 3 year old is in her bed (supposed to be napping) singing “Oh my gosh. Look at her butt.” Is this a fail or a win?
I ran out of ways to entertain the baby, and all I wanted to do was drink my damn coffee. So I put him in his jumper and used a cat toy that is basically a long ribbon on a stick. Any time he got antsy I would fling it in front of him as I sat on the couch and drank my coffee.
There’s really nothing like cleaning your child’s poop off a park slide while other kids you don’t know are standing at the top shouting at you, “I’m gonna come down now,” and you shout back in that crazy voice only your family knows, “HOLD ON A SECOND!”
I decided to give my 3.5 year old the silent treatment because she won’t let me sleep at night, and it is driving me UP THE WALL. If you can’t beat em, join em, right?
At my youngest’s well check-up, my oldest (5 years old) tells the doctor we’re going to the store after the appointment. The doctor says, “Ohh, are you going to help your mom pick out some yummy food?” To which she responds, “Nope. We’re just getting wine and beer.” The sad part? I didn’t tell her that’s what we were going to get, but it was in fact what we were going to get. Wine. Beer. Diapers.
I got sneezed on in the face by my toddler who happened to have a mouth full of waffles. I had to use my hand to wipe off the chunks, but didn’t have anywhere to put them. So I ate them.
I sat listening to my 4 year old tell me everything he had learned about Naked Americans. It took me way longer than it should have for me to realize he was talking about Native Americans.
My son lost his 3rd tooth, and my husband and I forgot to put anything under his pillow from the tooth fairy. So I put an I OWE YOU in his lunch box, and tried to tell him he was one of the “lucky ones.” The kid wasn’t havin’ it, and now I’m trying to buy back his love.
I have this huge deadline coming up, and even though my daughter is supposed to be at her dad’s this week, he has the flu so she’s been with me. The change in the schedule has me all out of sorts. I got so locked into my work after dinner that I forgot that I needed to put her to bed. When I finally realized what time it was I panicked, realizing I hadn’t heard her in quite a while. I walked into the kitchen and there she was. She had pulled out her milk from the fridge, laid herself down on the floor, and put herself to sleep.
We took the kids sledding. My husband thought it would be fun to sled over a “small mound” on the hill. Except that it wasn’t small and the placement was terrible (from my perspective, he would say it was perfect), and our daughter flew over that thing going like 5 feet in the air. She landed smack on her back, and cried for 2 hours. All she kept saying was, “Why would Daddy do that to meeeee?”
Have I told you lately that I love you all? Because I do. Lots times infinity. xoxo